bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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