Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
