I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How does it feel to date your dad?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
