I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
