I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
