is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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