Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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