I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I need to wash the frat house off of me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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