ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
