Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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