Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
