I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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