Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When are your genitals available?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
