I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
