My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
