last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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