The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
