I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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