You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
