Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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