dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
