Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
