Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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