No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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