i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
