I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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