i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
