They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
