Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
vagina is talking i cant
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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