his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
