Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
