If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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