Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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