Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
