Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
farters have to be the big spoon...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Come on in and take your pants off
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