ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
