i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Boobs are out for the taking
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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