You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
