Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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