haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
