Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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