saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
where are my eyebrows?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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