sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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