but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
