What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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