if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
