They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
