she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
