Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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