We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
