May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
